Neela: Victory Song

Good-Byes

The day after the wedding is not a good one for Neela. The night before, after the feast, is when the trouble really begins. Things start off going just fine. People begin to leave for home, commenting on how fine the wedding celebration was. They say that they will remember the meal for a long time. Someone even mentions that Neela looks pretty in her new sari. She’s growing up to be a smart girl, and she wasn’t even afraid of the bandit’s gun and knives. However, another person comments that it’s hard to imagine her sitting quietly at her own wedding. Whoever gets her as a daughter-in-law will have trouble controlling her.

Neela feels her face grow hot with anger. Why does everyone feel the need to control girls? Why are women expected to sit quietly and silently while men make all the important decisions? Why can’t a girl be a freedom fighter? Neela pictures herself as a freedom fighter, complete with a blackened face and a turban. She imagines herself evading British soldiers easily, with a twist of her sword.

But Mother breaks into her fantasy. Mother says that it’s time for Neela to go to bed right away. She must be up early in the morning for the good-bye ceremony. Neela folds her sari and takes off her jewelry. She wraps the earrings, choker, and bangles in the velvet cloth that used to hold the gold chain. She hands Mother the sari and the small velvet bundle, hoping that Mother will just lock them away. But instead, she stops to check the contents.

Mother mentions that Neela forgot the chain. Neela doesn’t move to go get it. With a dry throat, Neela explains that she gave it to the freedom fighters. She expects mother to shout at her, maybe even slap her, but instead she only stares at her. The horrified look of disbelief on her face is worse than any slap.

With a broken voice, she asks Neela how she could do that. It was supposed to be part of her dowry. They’ll never be able to afford another chain like that. Why couldn’t she think of her family? She should be thinking of them, too. It took Father a long time to save for that chain. Neela bends her head, feeling guilty about the pain and worry she’s caused. But what she did wasn’t wrong—she knows that in her bones. It’s another one of those complicated times when duties clash.

The next day, Neela is grateful for the busy morning. She sets out breakfast for the bride and groom and loads all their gifts into bullock carts to carry them to Usha’s new home. But through it all, she’s aware of her mother’s displeasure. Mother only speaks to her once to instruct her in what she should do.

One whole bullock cart is filled with the gifts that Neela’s parents got for Gopal. This, too, is part of the dowry. Gopal’s father had given Neela’s father a detailed list of items, including the names of stores from which each item should be bought. The gifts include traditional silk and cotton clothing, English shirts and pants, a gold pocket watch, and household items like bedsheets, quilts, and pillowcases. There’s also steel pots and pans, and shiny brass plates. Neela’s eyes catch a pretty pair of shoes made with black leather and crisp thin shoelaces. Neela hadn’t seen many people wear shoes in the village. Most people in the village go barefoot. She knows Father does have a pair of worn sandals he wears when he goes to Calcutta, but they’re very old. Neela picks up a black shoe, and she sees on the inner edge of the shoe a little gold embossed sign that reads Made in Great Britain.

Neela puts the shoe down quickly. Before yesterday, she wouldn’t have given the matter another thought. But now, it seems like buying foreign-made shoes is a type of betrayal to her country.

Everyone weeps when Usha leaves. Mother, the neighboring women who came to see her off, and Usha herself, who was so distraught she couldn’t eat any breakfast. Even Neela, who rarely cries, feels her eyes filling with tears. Would Usha’s mother-in-law scold Usha if she doesn’t wake up early? Will she criticize Usha’s cooking and sewing? Will she make Usha do the hardest chores? Neela has heard lots of horror stories about mothers-in-law. She says a quick prayer for her sister as she waves.

Neela doesn’t think it’s fair that women always have to make the changes when they get married. Maybe Neela just won’t get married at all.

It hasn’t even been a minute that Usha is gone when Neela’s father calls for her. With trembling footsteps, Neela follows her parents into their room.

Father questions why Neela gave away the gold chain. She was told that it was valuable. Neela’s lips feel dry, and her heart hammers against her ribs. A frown draws Father’s eyebrows together as he stares at her, making him look very stern. Mother sits beside him on the bed, looking even sterner.

Neela wants to throw herself into Father’s arms, the way she did when she was a girl, but she knows it won’t work this time. She apologizes that she upset them both. She didn’t realize the gold chain was for her dowry. She thought it was her own. So she didn’t think it was wrong to give something so valuable to freedom fighters. Neela continues to say that they’re risking their lives to make India independent. Didn’t Father say that he admired them, too?

Father is silent for a long moment. He looks preoccupied, as though he’s thinking of something other than Neela’s problem. But after a nudge from his wife, he comes back to the present with a start.

Father says he does have punishment for Neela. He’s not going to beat her, though, and he’s not going to make her stop her lessons with the pandit. He’s going to give Neela a chance to earn back the money. They’re maid told them she doesn’t want to work anymore—she’s getting too old. Instead, Neela will take over her job in the barn. She’ll feed and bathe the cows, clean the stalls, cut the hay for them, and milk them. Mother will put aside the money they save every month until they have enough to buy another gold chain.

Neela earnestly feels very lucky. Her father is a fair and intelligent man. Other fathers would have caned their children at the very least. But instead, hers had given her the chance to do something positive to make up for what she’s done, and help the household at the same time.

Father tells her that it will take at least a couple of years to save up the money. Neela says she doesn’t mind, and she’ll take good care of the cows. She won’t do anything else to upset her parents.

When Neela and Father enter the barn, Father isn’t interested in looking around or instructing Neela. He sits on a bale of hay and motions to Neela to join him. He doesn’t talk, but stares into a dark corner where the plows are stored. His face looks worried.

Neela takes his hand and hers. His hands are large and calloused, but gentle at the same time. One of them has large V-shaped scar on its back. Father tells Neela that he’s made a decision. He has decided to go to Calcutta. He’ll leave tomorrow after lunch. Neela stutters, and asks why he needs to go to Calcutta again. He was just there to do wedding shopping.

Father shakes his head, and says it’s not for himself or family matters. He wants to see what the leaders are doing. There’s a group called the Congress Party. They’ve been asking the British to hand over the governing of the country to them for a long time. Mahatma Gandhi has called for a general boycott next week, of all British-made things as well as courts, offices, and railways. There’s going to be a big peaceful march because Gandhi doesn’t believe in violence. Father wants to find out more about it, and maybe even take part in it.

Father goes on to say that the baoul warned him of danger. Even though Indians are acting peacefully, the British army and police are not. They’ve killed and wounded a lot of people and have thrown others into prison. But he can’t forget what the freedom fighter said. India needs him. He says he will never forgive himself if he doesn’t go.

Father reassures Neela that he plans to march to support the boycott, but to come back right after. After all, he still must prepare the fields for next season’s planting.

Neela asks if her father has told her mother yet. He admits that he hasn’t. He told her he’s going to Calcutta to buy some high-quality seed for the crops. But he’s telling Neela because he feels like he can trust Neela to help Mother and to keep his secret.

Neela nods emphatically, saying she won’t let him down. He says one more thing. If for some reason he’s not able to come back…

Neela interrupts him so he doesn’t finish his sentence. But he speaks over her anyway. Then it is Neela’s job to tell Mother the truth, so she knows that Father died for their country.

Neela bites her lip to keep in the tears as she watches Father walk down the dirt path leading away from their house. He’s wearing a clean but worn dhoti and kurta, with a simple bag slung over his shoulder. He looks so defenseless. Neela always looked up to her father as the strong one, but now she notices how thin his hair is getting and how it’s sprinkled with gray. How will he ever be able to stand up against the British empire?

Mother tries to comfort Neela by saying he’ll only be gone a few days. And with all of her new chores, the time will pass quickly. Neela nods wordlessly. What her father had told her in the barn hangs inside her chest, solid as stone. She was so proud to be his confidante, but now she wishes that he had told Mother, too. Then they could worry together. She watches her father’s figure, getting smaller with the distance, disappear around the bend in the road. Neela feels lonelier than she ever has in her whole life.