The Roar of the Falls: My Journey with Kaya

I watch anxiously as Kaya picks up the puppy, and he squirms in her arms, licking her face until she giggles. She strokes his soft ears. My mouth goes dry, and my palms turn wet and clammy. Finally, Kaya hands the dog back to the girl. The two of them trade more words, their voices rising and falling. When they’re done, Kaya explains she told the girl she couldn’t trade the bracelet, that it’s too special. My tense muscles go limp with relief. But now I realize I must get the bracelet back, and I don’t want to damage our bond.

A group of older girls forms a circle nearby, with a ring of older boys circling around them, their laughter rising over the steady drumbeat. Kaya explains it’s a courtship dance, and that if a boy likes a girl, he’ll try to dance near her. The drums beat an irresistible tempo, thrumming up through the soles of my feet. I long to give myself over to the rhythm and practice the steps the way Kaya is doing. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t stop thinking about the bracelet.

Kaya reaches for my hand and tries to pull me into the dance, but I can’t make myself move. When she turns to look at me, she sees tears running down my face. She tells me we’ll go back to the tepee.

When we get back to the tepee, Kautsa is watching Wing Feather and Sparrow sleep. Although Kaya says we wanted to rest, Kautsa can sense that one of us is yearning to say more. Instead of pressing, she pours us warm willow-bark tea. Once we are settled, surrounded by its earthy aroma, she asks what’s bothering me. When I stay silent, she sends Kaya out to fetch more wood for the fire.

Kautsa puts her hand over mine, and I look down at our two hands. One smooth, the other wrinkled, both warmed by the same fire, and somehow that small detail steadies me. I slowly explain the trade I made with Kaya, choosing my words carefully, and admit that I’m worried she won’t want my friendship if I ask for the bracelet back. Kautsa listens quietly. Finally, she says that friends are like fibers woven together, and that once they are entwined, they are hard to pick apart. If I talk with Kaya, she tells me, I may be surprised by what she says.