The Lilac Tunnel: My Journey with Samantha

Samantha lends me a bathing costume like hers, just black, plus stockings and slippers. Thinking about swimming in all this heavy, unfamiliar fabric makes my stomach knot, but she swims in these clothes all the time, so I muster a smile and follow her out.

Uncle Gard’s already there, plunging in and coming up shrieking and shivering at the cold, making Samantha giggle. Cornelia waves from a blanket spread on the grass as Samantha swims out to join him at a rock twenty yards from shore, strong and quick. I’m impressed, but just a few strokes into the cold water, my clothes go wet and heavy fast, and I feel like I weigh 300 pounds. Once I can’t touch bottom anymore, I’m already breathing hard.

Each stroke gets harder. My legs sink, my arms can’t push through the bunched-up fabric, and I feel like I’m swimming in place while Samantha and the rock stay frustratingly far away. Panic sets in, my strokes turn short and desperate, the water pulls me down, and I can’t catch my breath. My head dips under once, cold water rushing into my ears, and I lunge back up gasping, looking wildly for anything to grab.

Someone, maybe Cornelia, calls out for Gard, and I sink again, clawing at water that feels like wet cement, my lungs burning for air. When I surface a second time, a dark head is cutting toward me with fast, sure strokes: Uncle Gard.

I go under once more, swallowing a mouthful of water as I try to call his name, but he’s got me, hooking an arm under my chin and towing me steadily to shore, where Cornelia helps pull us both out. I cough and cough before finally catching my breath, and look up to see Samantha swimming hard for shore. She reaches me wide-eyed, asking if I’m all right, but I can’t answer at first, afraid I’ll cry with my heart pounding so loud I’m sure everyone can hear it. She apologizes over and over. I tell her it’s not her fault, I just made a bad call, leaving out that the clothes were more than I’m used to.

Walking back to Wood Tick Inn between Uncle Gard and Cornelia, my wet clothes clinging heavy with every step, Samantha keeps glancing back at me, still looking sad even at breakfast. I’ve already ruined our first day at Piney Point, and I need to fix it.