The Lilac Tunnel: My Journey with Samantha

Samantha loans me a bathing costume, which is like hers except black. I pull up the stockings and put on the slippers, too. Thinking about swimming and all these clothes makes my stomach knot up. Will they get waterlogged and heavy? I tell myself it will be fine. Samantha swims in these clothes all the time. I muster a smile, and follow her out of the cabin.

Uncle Gard is already there. When he sees us, he plunges into the water and comes up shrieking and shivering, making Samantha giggle. Cornelia waves hello from a blanket on the grass. Samantha rushes into the water and swims up to Uncle Gard and swims with him to a big rock twenty yards from the shore. She takes strong, short strokes. I’m surprised by how well she swims, given that just a few strokes in the cold water, my clothes are wet and heavy. I feel like I weigh 300 pounds. By the time I can no longer touch the bottom, I’m breathing hard.

I keep swimming, stroke after stroke, each more difficult than the last. I put my face in the water and kick, but my legs sink downward, and in the wet, bunched-up outfit, I can’t reach forward with my arms. I feel like I’m swimming in place. When I look up, I see that Samantha and the rock are still far away. I start to panic, taking shorter, quicker strokes. The weight of the water pulls me downward, and I can’t catch my breath. My head bobs under the water once, and I lunge back up, gasping for air and looking around wildly for something to grab onto.

Then, I hear someone, maybe Cornelia, calling Gard’s name, and I sink under the water again. I grab the water, as if it were slow-drying cement. When I come up for a second time, I see a dark head swimming toward me with the lightning quick strokes. It’s Uncle Gard.

I go under the water, one more time, saying his name, taking in a mouthful of water, but he’s got me now. He hooks his arm under my chin and tows me back to shore. Cornelia meets us there and helps us out of the water. I can’t stop coughing. I finally catch my breath, and look up to see Samantha swimming quickly towards shore. When she reaches me, she’s wide-eyed with concern. She asks me if I’m all right. At first, I can’t talk at all. I’m afraid I’ll start crying. My heart is pounding so loud that I’m sure everyone can hear it. Samantha apologizes to me repeatedly. When I finally can speak, I tell her that it’s not her fault. I made a bad decision. I don’t tell her that I was swimming with more clothes than I’m used to.

As we walk back to Wood Tick Inn with Uncle Gard on one side of me, and Cornelia on the other, Samantha glances over her shoulder at me with every step. Even at breakfast, she looks so sad. I feel as if I’ve already ruined our first day together at Piney Point. I need to make it better.