Catch the Wind: My Journey with Caroline

Jed holds up the adze and swears he couldn’t break it even if he spent all day trying. All he needed, he explains, was something to swing.

I ask what Jed means, and he admits he’s practicing to fight the British. When I point out that a carpenter’s tool hardly counts as a weapon, something flickers across his face, as if I’ve caught him at something embarrassing. He insists that everyone keeps saying the British might strike Sackets Harbor again any day. When they do, the ships and the tools used to build them will be the first thing they target.

Still confused, I glance toward Caroline, and Jed turns his attention to her instead. He says every man at Abbott’s shipyard intends to defend it, though between them they own little more than a couple of muskets. He doesn’t even own a knife himself. The British only fired from the lake yesterday, but next time they might actually land. Cheeks reddening, he admits he’s never once been in a real fight, which is why he skipped his midday meal to borrow the adze and practice somewhere private.

Shame twinges through me for how quickly I’d jumped to the worst conclusion about him. Caroline apologizes and explains that we’d only seen him on the beach and drawn our own conclusions from that. In fairness, I add that he had looked pretty suspicious.

Caroline tells Jed he should talk to Mr. Tate about all this. She bets he’d be proud, and might even rally the other men to prepare for when the British come back. Her wording catches my attention: when, not if. Somewhere deep down, Caroline is already certain the enemy will return to her village, sooner or later.

That certainty makes me sad, but proud, too. Proud of people like Caroline and Jed, and of my great-great-great-whatever grandfather. They may not have proper guns, but they still beat the British.

Caroline tells me and Jed we should leave him to it, and he nods back. By the time we’ve found the path again and started toward the village, his shout carries to us once more, fainter now, as he returns to swinging away at his practice.

Caroline admits she’s glad she didn’t race back to the shipyard to report her suspicions. Jed could have gotten in real trouble, and worse, been humiliated in front of everyone before anyone even sorted out what happened. The last thing he’d want is for the men to know he’d been scared.

Her words catch me off guard, since I’m scared of plenty of things myself. It feels strange to imagine someone as tough as Jed feeling the same way. Slowly, I suggest that the British might not be all he’s afraid of. Maybe he’s just as worried about letting her father down, or looking foolish in front of the crew. Caroline stops walking and admits she hadn’t thought about it like that before.

A gull glides along the lakeshore as I think about how impressed I really am with Jed. Fighting the British with cannons and muskets, the way Lieutenant Woolsey does, is one kind of bravery. A barefoot teenager standing guard over a shipyard with nothing but an adze is a different kind entirely.

I tell Caroline that her kindness probably gave Jed the confidence he needed, and that maybe between the two of us, we helped win the war a little today. My face heats up at the thought of how I screamed at Mom before storming out of the house this morning. Maybe once I get home, I should try being the encouraging one for a change.

Sackets Harbor comes into sight as we round a bend. Caroline suggests we head to her place, and part of me would love that. But my mind is still spinning from everything today has thrown at me. This morning I wanted badly to get away from my own family. Now all I want is to find them again.

My voice trails off as I tell Caroline I need to keep moving. I have to go find my family. Something fierce flashes across her face before she pulls me into a hug, whispering that nothing matters more than that, and that she hopes I find them soon.

Stepping back, I meet her eyes and tell her I hope her father makes it home soon, too. I thank her for everything and promise I’ll never forget her. She nods and heads toward the village, and I wait until she’s out of sight before pulling the compass from my pocket. It’s time to go home.