Catch the Wind: My Journey with Caroline

I rush to insist this whole plan is a mistake before Caroline or Seth can get a word in. Seth may want in on the raid, sure, but things could turn dangerous fast, and the fighting belongs to Captain Miller’s men, not us.

Seth pushes back, but I plead with him to hear me out. Just as unhappy about it as he is, Caroline gently points out that I’m her guest, and she admits that neither of them thought to ask whether I even wanted to come before hustling me into the skiff.

That stings, since I already feel like enough of a coward, but I still think I’m right to talk them out of something this risky. Seth asks to be let off so he can walk the rest of the way alone, promising to report back everything that happens at the raid. Caroline steers the skiff toward shore, and we both watch until the trees swallow him up.

My stomach twists at the thought of Caroline being angry with me, so I thank her for staying behind. Sighing, she admits I was right. Seth’s news had swept her up before she’d stopped to think it through. Neither of them told Mama or Mr. Tate where they were actually headed.

That admission makes me feel a little less like a fraidy-cat. Turning the skiff back around, Caroline proposes we sail the shoreline instead and watch for British ships, her eyes lighting up with how badly she wants to help win this war. I’ve already backed out of the raid, so the least I can do is push past my fear of open water. I tell myself an enemy ship is unlikely and agree to sail with her. The skiff surges forward, and I clamp both hands onto the wooden seat until my fingers ache.

One glance over the side is enough: the water’s clear, but I still can’t make out the bottom, and my stomach clenches. Mom comes to mind, out on the real ocean aboard her massive navy ship, and the nightmare I sometimes have about her going overboard with no one noticing floods my brain.

I force my thoughts back to 1812. The wind is picking up, and clouds are darkening along the horizon. When I ask Caroline if we should turn back, she says not yet, her whole face lit up with the pure joy of skimming across the waves. I almost mention the wind, then decide to hold my tongue and trust that Caroline knows exactly what she’s doing.

A wooded point of land stretches out into the lake ahead, and Caroline calls for me to lean right so we can round it. As we turn, Caroline says sailing with her papa used to be the thing she loved most in the world.

Watching her face light up makes something ache in my chest. For years, Mom pushed swimming lessons on me, but I quit after the Guppy class, satisfied I knew just enough to stay afloat. Seeing how sailing connects Caroline to her papa, I find myself wishing I’d kept at it. Maybe then I’d have something like this to share with Mom, too.

Out here on the water, I have to admit, it actually feels good. Caroline grins, clearly happy for company, since Mama almost never lets her take the skiff out alone. As we round the point, trees and open lake close in around us, the emptiness equal parts eerie and thrilling.

The sun disappears behind sliding clouds, and the wind starts gaining strength. Caroline squints up at the sky and promises we’ll turn back soon, since a storm seems to be building. Then she gasps, out of nowhere.

Just past the point we’ve rounded, a ship sits in the water. My mouth goes dry before I can even finish asking what it is. Caroline squints at the flag and identifies it as British. My heart pounds as I try to figure out what it’s doing all the way out here.

Caroline’s eyes flick between the ship and the darkening sky as she guesses its captain is waiting to ambush some smaller American vessel. My instinct is to turn around and warn the navy back at Sackets Harbor. But Caroline argues that following the ship first could lead us straight to wherever the British are hiding.

Would it even be safe to trail an enemy warship? Chewing her lip, Caroline reasons that a warship wouldn’t bother wasting cannon fire on two girls in a rowboat. Goose bumps prickle up my arms, though I can’t tell if it’s the wind or her plan causing them. Her eyes glisten with tears as she admits that the thought of another girl losing her papa to the enemy is more than she can bear.