Catch the Wind: My Journey with Caroline

A sailor bursts out from behind the hanging blankets, lugging a heavy sack and shouting that he’s found Zeke at last, then lobs the sack straight at the boy. Caroline whispers that he sounds relieved, not angry.

Part of me wants to pull Zeke away from the gunpowder for good, but this is 1812. He needs this job, and the soldiers on this ship need him. Telling him to get back to it is the kindest thing I can do. He doesn’t wait to be told twice. He shoves the sack into a leather box, shouts his thanks, and sprints off toward the gun crew.

I flatten myself against the wall as another sailor barrels past. Caroline pulls me back to the kitchen where we find an out-of-the-way spot behind some barrels. We sit there pressed together, listening to the fight raging overhead. Half-wondering whether a cannonball could sink the ship or the powder could ignite, I silently pray that Zeke, and the rest of us, make it through. Caroline’s hand grabs mine when a crash louder than the rest booms above, and she doesn’t let go.

When the guns finally go quiet, cheering drifts down from above. Caroline sits bolt upright. Surely it means our side captured the British ship. We’re just climbing to our feet when Lieutenant Woolsey rounds the corner and pulls up short when he sees us. He asks if we’re all right, and Caroline tells him we’re fine, so long as he confirms that they won. His stern officer’s face cracks into a grin as he says they did.

A lump rises in my throat. I spent most of the fight hiding behind a barrel like a frightened chipmunk. Yet, somehow Caroline and I still managed to help Zeke right when he needed it. I also helped her do something for her papa. Lieutenant Woolsey tells Caroline that none of it erases the British stealing her father’s sloop and taking him prisoner. But he hopes it helps all the same.

Caroline admits that it truly does, even with Papa still captive and the war still raging. Lieutenant Woolsey rests a hand on her shoulder, telling her that today, they made a real difference. Her face lights up as she agrees.

Lieutenant Woolsey says we might as well stay on the ship with them for the present, until the British ship is secured. Then we’ll all head back to Sackets Harbor. As soon as he’s out of earshot, I grin at Caroline and tell her that her papa will be proud once he hears what she did today. Her eyes light up at the thought of telling him how we helped Zeke.

Thinking about fathers turns my mind to mine, and to what his life will look like once Mom deploys. My parents usually split the cooking and cleaning evenly, but now it’ll all fall on Dad. Add on the Wednesday dinner-and-movie nights he and Mom never miss, and that’s more than extra work piling onto him. It’s loneliness, too.

Maybe those Wednesdays could belong to the two of us now, since he’ll need somewhere to unwind and someone to talk to. My mind drifts to the twins next. Mom’s always the one who invents silly stories to chase off Britney’s nightmares, and somehow she always knows exactly what Sasha’s paintings are supposed to be, even when they’re just squiggles.

So I decide that once Mom’s gone, I’ll leave my bedroom door open in case Britney cries out, and I’ll come up with my own stories to calm her down. Sasha will be happy with me instead of Mom. I promise myself I’ll really try, grateful that my sisters and I, unlike Zeke, won’t have to figure this out completely alone.

Back in the village, I turn to Caroline and admit I have to leave. She argues it’s too soon, hoping I’ll stick around for tonight’s celebration dinner, but I tell her the truth: my own family is waiting for me now. She nods and offers to walk part of the way with me, though I turn her down. My eyes sting with tears, but I force a smile anyway. This time and place is hers; mine is somewhere else.

Caroline and I hug tightly before I slip away from the village and reach for the compass to take me home. The path from the pond leads straight into my own backyard, where my parents and sisters are in the middle of a soccer game. Nobody notices me except Mom, who starts walking my way.

The words spill out of me in a rush, because I need her to hear them. I tell her I understand how much her navy work matters, and I know she’ll be wonderful at it. Surprise crosses her face, and her eyes turn glassy like she might cry. She thanks me and pulls me into a hug. While wrapped in her embrace, I promise to keep Dad and the twins in good spirits while she’s away, and I hope I can actually keep that promise.