Catch the Wind: My Journey with Caroline

I tell Caroline we should let Martha stay hidden. She gives a short nod, agreeing we should let the poor girl be. She turns back to Martha and asks if she’ll really be all right alone. Martha lifts her chin and insists she’s fine, though fear and misery still show on her face as she disappears farther into the reeds and cattails.

Caroline sighs and admits that sometimes there’s just no way to know if you’ve made the right choice. I tell her all we can really do is decide as best we can and live with however it turns out.

Mom’s face drifts into my mind without warning. I’ve always assumed she never doubted her choice to join the navy, but now I wonder whether she ever wrestled with staying home against serving her country, or whether second thoughts ever crept in. For the first time, it hits me that whatever she decided, there’s no taking it back now.

I ask Caroline if she thinks parents ever regret the choices they’ve made. She watches a motionless turtle balanced on a half-sunken log for a moment before answering. She says she hopes Papa isn’t torturing himself over the choice to go sailing the day he was captured. There was no way to know what would happen, and regret won’t change anything now.

I realize Mr. Abbott’s capture and Mom’s choice to leave aren’t really the same kind of thing, but they both boil down to the same truth: what’s done is done. Sorry, Mom, I think, wishing I’d given her credit sooner for making a hard call and sticking with it. Once I’m home, I want to do that for her, too.