A Brighter Tomorrow: My Journey with Julie

I take a deep breath and step up to Tracy. I tell Julie that Tracy really needs to talk to her, and tell Tracy that I know it’s hard to talk about this kind of family stuff.

But Julie is her sister, and she needs her. Tracy looks unsure what to say, crossing her arms and glaring down at Julie. I tell Julie to tell her sister what’s on her mind.

Julie starts out slowly. She says that Tracy has changed lately. The old Tracy would never have asked her to lie. But now she’s lying to their mom and she wants Julie to lie for her, too. And she acts like it’s nothing.

Tracy looks at Mike and gives him an embarrassed half-smile. When she turns back to Julie, she seems to be pleading with her eyes for her to stop. But Julie continues.

Julie says that she and Mike pretended they did all the work to help clean up the beach. She lied about it just to get her paper signed, when she knows that the only work she did was on her tan. Then, in a gush of words, all of Julie’s pent up feelings of hurt and anger and confusion come pouring out. Tracy has been acting so differently since the divorce. She never comes to see their dad on the weekends, and she never stops to consider how that makes him feel. Or Julie.

Tracy throws up her hands in exasperation. Their dad never considered how they felt when he and their mom divorced. It’s not going to be the same again, so why try? The life they had before as a family is gone.

Julie’s eyes tear up. She looks stunned, as if Tracy had slapped her. She says they’re still a family. Just because things are different it doesn’t mean their dad doesn’t love them. And Julie still loves him, and her mom, and Tracy. They’re all still family, right?

Tracy shrugs and replies that it doesn’t feel that way to her. She can’t fake it.

Julie insists that no one is asking her to fake anything. But she is asking Tracy to stop lying. Doesn’t Tracy have any feelings at all?

Tracy shakes her head and says that Julie is just a kid. She doesn’t know anything. I can’t help wincing when I hear that. I had the same thought when Zack was trying to talk to me this morning. Even though the conversation is about Julie’s family, not mine, I realize I might have something to contribute.

I steel my courage and speak up. I tell Tracy that Julie knows a lot.

Just because she’s younger doesn’t mean her feelings don’t count. Sometimes, maybe the younger you are, the more clearly you can see things and face them head-on.

I squeeze Julie’s hands and look her in the eye. And just because Tracy has trouble talking about things doesn’t mean she doesn’t have feelings. Actually, I bet Tracy has more feelings than she can handle, so many that she can’t fit any more feelings into her heart because it hurts too much.

Nobody says a word. Even the arcade’s noise doesn’t seem to penetrate the silence around us as Mike and I watch Julie and Tracy face each other, speechless.

Finally, Julie takes a step towards her sister and says she’s sorry. Tears are on her cheeks. Julie adds that she wants to be able to talk to Tracy because she understands things better than anybody. But Julie can’t if she keeps lying about stuff, or if she’s not here.

Tracy turns away and swipes at her own eyes. Then she nods and reaches for her sister, folding Julie into a hug.

Tracy kisses the top of Julie’s head, then pulls a piece of paper from her back pocket and rips it in half, giving one piece to Julie and the other to me. It’s the form for the community service project, with Chip and Kimberly’s names signed at the bottom. Mike starts to object, then thinks better of it and lets out a heavy sigh. Tracy says there’s a lot of beach left to clean, and they should get back out there and do it for real.

Mike nods and gives Julie an apologetic smile. Tracy tells Julie to hold on to the papers until tonight. Julie starts to say she’ll be at her dad’s tonight, and then realizes what Tracy means. Tracy is going to their dad’s, too.

Tracy says that she thinks she left some things in her old room anyway. She can’t find her favorite peace-sign earrings anywhere.

Julie blushes and admits that she sort of borrowed them, and then didn’t return them because she might have lost one. Tracy is in disbelief. They’re Tracy’s favorite earrings.

Then a thought flashes through my head. I dig into my pocket and pull out the peace-sign earring I found inside the window seat in the room I share with Julie, and ask if it’s her other one.

Julie looks at me surprised. How did I find it?

I don’t want to lie, so I explain that I found it just before I met her at Gladrags. Tracy thanks me and she gives Julie a forgiving hair-ruffle. She says Julie just needs to ask permission next time.

Julie’s eyes fall to the floor, landing on something next to my feet. She leans down, picks it up, and jiggles it in her palm. It must have fallen out of my pocket when I pulled out the earring.

It’s the stone from my mood ring! I’d forgotten about it, and it must have hidden from me until I helped Julie and Tracy reunite. I puzzle over how it got into my pocket, until I remember reaching in for the quarter for the fortune-teller machine. The stone must have come loose from the setting then.

Julie hands it back nonchalantly, with no sense of its value. I press the stone into the setting and nudge the prong into place with my fingernail, then realize I should get home before I lose it again.

We follow Mike and Tracy outside, and Julie hands her the last of the garbage bags and two pairs of rubber gloves. With a wave, Tracy and Mike head toward the beach.

On the way back to Gladrags, I think about how I should be a better sister to Zack, less moody and selfish, more willing to listen to his fears and answer his questions.

When we arrive at Gladrags, I tell Julie it’s time for me to go, wrap her in a goodbye hug, and say maybe I’ll see her at the beach someday. She says she’d love that, thanks me for everything, and disappears into her mom’s store.

I make my way down the sidewalk, my heart full of this amazing day. As I round the corner, I sit on the curb, steady myself, and hold out my hand to gaze at the mood ring, the ring that brought me here and will take me back home to my family.

The stone changes color before my eyes. It turns from amber to green to sky blue. I don’t know what blue means, but I know how I feel. I feel calm, peaceful, and happy. At long last, I close my eyes and slip the mood ring off my finger.