A Brighter Tomorrow: My Journey with Julie

I take a deep breath and step up to Tracy. I tell Julie that Tracy really needs to talk to her. I glance at Julie and then back to Tracy. I tell her that I know it’s hard to talk about this kind of family stuff. But Julie is her sister. She needs her. Tracy looks unsure as to what to say. She crosses her arms in front of her and glares down at Julie. I tell Julie to tell sister what’s on her mind.

Julie starts out slowly. She says that Tracy has changed lately. The old Tracy would never have asked her to lie. But now she’s lying to Mom and she wants Julie to lie for her, too. And she acts like it’s nothing. Tracy looks at Mike and gives him an embarrassed half-smile. When she turns back to Julie, she seems to be pleading with her eyes for her to stop. But Julie continues.

Julie says that she and Mike pretended they did all the work to help clean up the beach. She lied about it just to get her paper signed, when she knows that the only work she did was on her tan. Then, in a gush of words, all of Julie’s pent up feelings of hurt and anger and confusion come pouring out. Tracy has been acting so differently since the divorce. She never comes to see Dad on the weekends, and she never stops to consider how that makes him feel. Or Julie.

Tracy throws up her hands in exasperation. Dad never considered how they felt when he and Mom divorced. It’s not going to be the same again, so why try? The life they had before as a family is gone.

Julie’s eyes tear up. She looks stunned, as if Tracy had slapped her. She says they’re still a family. Just because things are different it doesn’t mean Dad doesn’t love them. And Julie still loves him, and Mom, and Tracy. They’re all still family, right? Tracy shrugs and says it doesn’t feel that way to her. She can’t fake it. Julie says that no one is asking her to fake anything. But she is asking Tracy to stop lying. Doesn’t Tracy have any feelings at all?

Tracy shakes her head and says that Julie is just a kid. She doesn’t know anything. I can’t help wincing when I hear that. I had the same thought when Zack was trying to talk to me this morning. Even though the conversation is about Julie’s family, not mine, I realize I might have something to contribute. I steel my courage and speak up. I tell Tracy that Julie knows a lot. Just because she’s younger doesn’t mean her feelings don’t count. Sometimes, maybe the younger you are, the more clearly you can see things and face them head-on. I squeeze Julie’s hands and look her in the eye. And just because Tracy has trouble talking about things doesn’t mean she doesn’t have feelings. Actually, I bet Tracy has more feelings than she can handle, so many that she can’t fit any more feelings into her heart because it hurts too much.

Nobody says a word. Even the noise of the arcade doesn’t seem to penetrate the silence that surrounds our group. Mike and I look on as Julie and Tracy face each other, speechless. Finally, Julie takes a step towards her sister and says she’s sorry. Tears are on her cheeks. Julie says she wants to be able to talk to Tracy because she understands things better than anybody. But Julie can’t if she keeps lying about stuff, or if she’s not here. Tracy turns away and swipes at her own eyes. Then she nods and reaches for her sister, folding Julie into a hug.

Tracy kisses the top of Julie’s head. Then she pulls a piece of paper out of her back pocket and rips it in half. She gives one half to Julie and the other to me. When I open my half, I see it’s the form for the community service project, with Chip and Kimberly’s names signed at the bottom. Mike starts to object, but then he thinks better of it and lets out a heavy sigh. Tracy says there’s a lot of beach left to clean. They should get back out there and do it for real.

Mike nods and gives Julie an apologetic smile. Tracy tells Julie to hold on to the papers until tonight. Julie starts to say she’ll be at Dad’s tonight, and then realizes what Tracy means. Tracy is going to Dad’s, too.

Tracy says that she thinks she left some things in her old room anyway. She can’t find her favorite peace-sign earrings anywhere. Julie blushes and says that she sort of borrowed them, and then didn’t return them because she might have lost one. Tracy is in disbelief. They’re Tracy’s favorite earrings. And then, a thought flashes through my head. I dig into my pocket and take out the peace-sign earring that I found inside the window seat in my—and Julie’s—room. I ask if this is her other earring. Julie looks at me surprised. How did I find it?

I don’t want to lie, so I explain that I found it just before I met her at Gladrags. Tracy thanks me and she gives Julie a forgiving hair-ruffle. She says Julie just needs to ask permission next time. Julie nods and her eyes fall to the floor. Then, her eyes land on the floor next to my feet. She leans down to pick up something before jiggling it in the palm of her hand. It must have fallen out of my pocket when I pulled out the earring.

It’s the stone from my mood ring! I had forgotten about it until now. The stone itself hid from me until I had helped Julie and Tracy reunite. But how did it end up in my pocket in the first place? All sorts of impossible scenarios go through my head before I remember the moment I reached into my pocket for the quarter to put in the fortune-teller machine. The stone must have come loose from the setting while my hand was in my pocket.

Julie hands the stone to me nonchalantly, having no sense of its value. I press it back into the setting and use my fingernail to push the prong back into place. I realize I should probably return home before I lose the stone again.

We follow Mike and Tracy outside, and Julie hands her the last of the empty garbage bags and two pairs of rubber gloves. Then with a wave, Tracy and Mike head toward the beach.

On the way back to Gladrags, I think about how I should be a better sister to Zack. I need to be less moody and selfish. I must listen to him and not dismiss his fears, and I should answer his questions the best I can. It means spending more time with him when we’re missing our old home back in Ohio.

When we arrive at Gladrags, I tell Julie it’s time for me to go and I wrap her in a goodbye hug. I tell her that maybe I’ll see her at the beach someday. She says that she would love that and she thanks me for everything. Then she disappears into her mom’s store.

I make my way down the sidewalk, my heart full of this amazing day. As I round the corner, I sit on the curb and steady myself. I hold out my hand and gaze at the mood ring. This ring that brought me here, and connects me to Julie and her life in San Francisco. This ring that is going to take me back to my family and home. The stone changes color before my eyes. It turns from amber to green to sky blue. I don’t know what blue means, but I know how I feel. I feel calm, peaceful, and happy. At long last, I close my eyes and slip the mood ring off my finger.