The Glow of the Spotlight: My Journey with Rebecca

Rebecca has no idea what to do about the missing coins, but I do. I suggest I do a tap performance. If we earn the money back ourselves, right here on the sidewalk, nobody will ever need to know a single cent went missing in the first place. And if I do the dancing, then Rebecca won’t get in trouble.

“Let’s try!” Rebecca exclaims. I launch into a shuffle-ball-change, swinging my arms wide like a windmill. I don’t have my tap shoes, so the performance won’t be as loud as it should be, and I can only hope the motions look interesting enough to make someone stop and watch.

Benny offers to collect the pennies himself, pulling off his cap and holding it out toward the sidewalk. My stomach flips as the crowd streams past. Rebecca calls out to them anyway, urging everyone to step right up and not miss the beat of my tapping feet. I take a breath and begin to dance, one small step at a time.

A few women pushing baby carriages and hauling shopping bags actually stop. Each one smiles and drops a penny into Benny’s waiting cap. A small circle of onlookers gathers around us. The sight of them rattles my nerves more than any recital stage ever has. But I keep tapping anyway, one beat after another, until the crowd finally drifts on.

By the time we finish, Rebecca can hardly believe we earned enough to replace the money for the carrots and onions if we do some hard bargaining. I can hardly believe it myself. I actually danced my recital routine for real money on a real street corner. For one dizzy second, I feel like a genuine professional dancer.

Rebecca squeezes my hand, her eyes sparkling, and tells me the little crowd loved watching me dance. I remind her that she was part of the show, too, calling out to strangers like an emcee. She’s a natural. Her whole face lights up at that. She admits cousin Max once told her she was a natural, too. Her eyes go soft and faraway as she wonders aloud what she might do with a talent like that someday.

We skip back toward Rebecca’s apartment building with Benny giggling between us the entire way. As the building comes into view, Rebecca faces her little brother squarely. She reminds him that he cannot breathe a word of what happened today, or we will all be in trouble. Benny is sad he won’t be able to brag about finding my purse, but I tell him that it’ll be a secret between the three of us. I give him a wink and Benny nods his head.

The dinner that evening is more than special. The table is set with the family’s best dishes and linens. The twins recite a blessing over lit candles, and the flickering flames glow softly. The meal features delicious noodle soup, the best chicken I’ve ever had, and of course, vegetables. I enjoy them all the more because I know I earned them myself.

That night, once we are finally ready for bed, Rebecca admits something quietly, almost to herself. She loved being the emcee today, and she wishes she could do more acting.

I assure Rebecca that she already can. She built a whole scene out of nothing with the potato seller, bargaining him down and winning him over completely. She helped me survive the times tables, too. She would make a wonderful teacher someday. Honestly, the best teachers I have ever had were performers in their own way, the kind who taught through songs or acted out history instead of just reciting it at us. Whatever Rebecca decides to become, I tell her, she will find a way to use her gift.

I fall asleep and dream of Rebecca as a movie star, singing and dancing her way down a street crowded with peddlers’ carts. I wake up the next morning feeling happy all over, except for one thing tugging at me. I miss my own family. I am ready to go home and finally give my recital performance everything I have.

I tell Rebecca I wish I could stay long enough to watch her become a movie star. I really do miss my family, though. Rebecca says she knew this moment would come eventually, though she had hoped it would not arrive quite so soon.

Then I teach Rebecca the code my friends and I use for best friends. We link our pinkie fingers together and both call out that we’re BFFs, best friends forever. I put on my purple skirt and gather my dance bag and purse. I wonder whether Rebecca will grow up to become a teacher or chase her dream of acting instead. For the first time, it strikes me how lucky I am to have that same choice waiting for me, wide open, whenever I am ready to decide.

After saying goodbye to the whole Rubin family, I linger alone in the vestibule just inside the front door. I pull the nesting dolls from my purse, twist the larger one apart, and press the two halves back together. In a dizzying flash, I am standing in the antique shop again.

My mother is still at the counter, bargaining with the shopkeeper over a fair price for the mirror. She’s smiling, so it must be going well. I look again at the special dolls I’m holding. I wonder if I can convince the dealer to sell them to me. If she agrees, I’ll bargain for a fair price first.