A Brighter Tomorrow: My Journey with Julie

I swallow hard and join Julie. Together, we walk towards Tracy, who’s standing with Mike in front of a game that looks like a grandfather clock. At the bottom of the machine, it says Test Your Love. Just as Julie opens her mouth to signal our presence, the machine comes alive. Lightbulbs flash, bells ring, and horns beep. When the alarms and flashing stop, the words HOT STUFF glow red. Mike turns to Tracy with mock surprise while Tracy’s cheeks turn a deep pink.

When Tracy sees us, she smiles and acts if nothing is wrong. She asks how the beach cleanup went. Julie crosses her arms and says Tracy doesn’t care. But Tracy doesn’t seem to hear her. She’s busy giggling with Mike as they move to the next game. Julie calls out Tracy’s name.

Tracy gives an apologetic smile and whips around, hissing through her teeth that Julie shouldn’t make a scene. She nods to Mike and glares at her sister. Then, in a sugary-sweet voice, she asks if Julie remembers the time Dad took them here to eat and they had a fancy lunch and she ordered lobster. I can see what Tracy is doing. She’s trying to change the subject and distract Julie from what’s upsetting her, just like I did this morning with Zack when I spotted the bulldog. It’s exactly what I do to my brother when I don’t want to talk about something difficult. I thought I could help him by switching the conversation to talk about other things. But now, I realize I wasn’t helping him at all. I was helping myself by avoiding discussing the hard truth. And by dismissing Zack’s feelings as if they didn’t mean anything.

Julie’s lip quivers, and I can see she’s holding back tears. Tracy looks away and begins to ask Julie if she remembers something else, but I interrupt and yell for her to stop. Julie, Tracy, and Mike look at me with eyes as wide as half-dollars.