The Glow of the Spotlight: My Journey with Rebecca

I always thought my legs were strong from dance, but now they shake like jelly, and I sag against a brick wall, gasping for breath. Up ahead, the knot of boys wanders off, joking around and throwing light punches at each other. Rebecca and Benny catch up, both out of breath. Rebecca asks anxiously whether we lost him.

He got away with everything, I admit, and the words taste as awful as they sound. I’m too stunned and too exhausted even to cry. Rebecca tries to comfort me, reminding me there wasn’t much money left in the purse anyway and that Mrs. Rubin will understand. Perhaps she’ll forgive me, but I’m not sure I can forgive myself. This might have cost me my only way home.

Then the tears come anyway, rolling down my cheeks in silent, heaving sobs. How do I explain to Rebecca that the purse held more than spare change? My nesting dolls were tucked inside it, too, and without them I might never make it back to my own family at all.

Benny points toward a dark alley, gently telling me not to cry. He declares the thief might still be hiding there and takes off before anyone can stop him. Rebecca shouts for him to stop, but he ignores her and dashes ahead. I force my rubbery legs to move and follow them toward the gap between two rundown buildings.

A sharp cry rings out from the shadows, and my stomach drops, certain something terrible has happened. But when I catch up, Rebecca is grinning, and Benny comes barreling toward me, waving something over his head. My purse. I let out a cry of my own and pull him into a hug, spinning him around.

Rebecca and Benny lean in as I open the purse to check inside. My stomach sinks again when I realize the coin pouch is gone. I’ve lost the money Mrs. Rubin gave us, and I genuinely feel sorry about that, but I’m also relieved. For down at the bottom of the purse, my nesting dolls are sitting untouched. They weren’t worth a cent to the thief, but to me they’re priceless.

Benny asks us how we’re going to buy the onions and carrots with the money gone. Rebecca says we’ll manage without them, since we still have potatoes, and the three of us trudge home feeling defeated. On the way, we pass a boy not much older than Benny, singing sweetly to passersby with a tin cup set on the sidewalk. A few people toss pennies in as he bows without missing a note.

Rebecca watches him with a wistful sigh, wishing aloud that we could perform to earn back some of what we lost. Benny reminds her of the time they put on a show outside their building and earned six pennies together. Rebecca’s hands land on her hips as she reminds him how furious Bubbie was that day. She confesses that when Bubbie caught her and Benny doing a singing and comedy routine, her grandmother scolded them for shaming the family, and Rebecca still goes red telling me about it.

I understand why Rebecca is afraid to perform on the street again. But nobody here knows me as anything but Millie, and a tap routine of mine wouldn’t embarrass anyone in this neighborhood. I’m the one who lost the money. Maybe I’m the one who should earn some of it back.